To be or not to be a man.

• Author: Musopole, Augustine
• Position: Educating men to stop violence against women

Fore sometime now, I have agonised over the need for men to meet and talk for them to look at what really informs their ideology and philosophical outlook as men. The need for us men to face our manhood is long overdue, but somehow we have been reluctant to face ourselves and to see who we really are.

While it is violence Against Women that has brought us together to form the regional network for men against gender based violence, I consider violence to be a symptom and that the real problem that creates the symptom is the question of our own identity as men. Therefore to be or not to be a man is the critical question. The question presents two choices: one, "to been man in character not just in biology; and two "not to be a man," that is to be a beast with a human face. Which of these choices is more likely to be associated with violence against women?

Men have-to admit the wrongs they have perpetrated against women and to change.

Anthropologically and theologically, violence against women is a result-of our alienation from the self, others, the environment and God. Called the power sin, this alienation is the fundamental contradiction of our being and it is clearly manifested in the dysfunction between words and actions. It is self-centerdness that turns other human beings into things to exploit and use. Therefore, any solution to violence against women must consider our human propensity to be alienated from other, to hurt others and, in the process, to hurt ourselves, It reduces our humanity.

Our human reality is modelled on the image of God. Normal men do not beat their wives or other women, but love them instead Only abnormal or sub-human men beat Others.

But love is often conceived inadequately as it is conditioned. Perceptions of love differ from agape, where there is delight in laying one's life out in service of the other. Violence cannot come out of this love. Many relationships between men and women falter because we do not have or practice agape but instead engage in contradictions which are expressed, for example, in statements such as "I love her, but I beat you because you made me angry." Most marriages function on a "because" kind of love, which is a contract, a trade in which men marry to obtain cooks, servants and sex objects but not life partners.

Violence against one is violence against all because it shatters the peace of all and their oneness and wholeness. Violence against women is a symptom of broken humanity.

Jesus and the Holy Spirit set women free from patriarchal cultures by making God father of all. But the church re-enslaves women through administrative arrangements. The apostolic demand not to give women authority to preach and teach was temporary administrative back-pedalling to curb abuse of evangelical freedom ushered by the Holy Spirit.

Sin always subverts the culture of God and the sins that condition our humanity and our manhood need to be judged in the light of God's initial intention with...